Relight the flame

People in life should not control you. They should not tell you who to love, who to talk too, how to think and control your actions. You develop other emotions you haven't experienced in along time like embarrassment, sadness, frightened, guilt, and confusion. Being your own person makes all the difference. Once someone tries to control you, you change. You bite people’s heads off, turn against them and begin to know how not to love. You are so worried about what might happen and you just don’t live and take risks. One person might blame the other, no point in playing the blame game when you both are at fault. It may take you awhile to get back into your old routines and learn how to be your own person again. But surprisingly, you might hang out with an old friend or a past lover of yours and discover that this one person makes you happy.

You’re not afraid to have them call you weird, make jokes that have no meaning, reconnect, not be afraid to say stupid stuff, be the klutz you have always been, laugh like you once loved to do, be amused by the smallest things, and allow him to tickle you in bed or even play hide and seek with their blanket. The best thing is to see them smile and laugh when you are in their presence and have them tell you how much they really missed you. You realize that is the real you and wonder where that person has gone this whole time in the past few months. All your worries went away and all you are focused on is how warm they make you feel and how safe you are around that one person. I lost him once and I am not about to lose him again. I messed up and I am happy that we are back into each other’s lives at this moment in time. It wasn’t over to me, and it still isn’t over. We have to decide where to go next, he might want one thing while I might want another. The goal isn’t about trying not to be used or to get booty but trying to matter and care about one another equally. And hopefully, in the future become something. As of right now, its just having a friend.