Everyone has their own idea of how they view themselves. You can always view to be different than what people view from you. As a person, you usually view yourself as bottom of the barrel. On occasion, you feel that you are on top of the world but most of the time you are just walking though life wondering on why you are here. You are not depressed or upset in anyway but you still begin to wonder on what your purpose is. You end up spending so much time impressing people, falling in love, achieving greatness and trying to be a better person. You forget on what it is like to relax and just be you and live every day as your last. Sometimes it just takes hanging out with good friends to make you get out of your zone and be who you are again for a small amount of time. Finally, when you go back to your room and get out of the norm you walk backwards to your zone. I have soon realized that I still have time to grow and learn from myself. I am so worried and focused on school and finding happiness. I have forgotten to sit back and relax. I am not enjoying what I have as much as I should.
When I go home to my house I love being around family and my friends. That is one reason of why I have decided that I want to move out of the dorms. I am looking for a better job so I can save money and better myself as a person. I feel that if I better myself that maybe other people would look at me better and say “Hey, she is pretty cool.” Like most people, I don’t think you can be completely satisfied with yourself or with other people. We always judge and think we are better than other people or we believe that people are better than us. Its jealousy, you need it in every relationship. I have noticed that I have more jealousy that involves just being friends than being exclusive with someone. Maybe I am being paranoid but I just need to find my own happiness.
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