You know you like someone when you wake up every morning with their face in your mind, when you're with someone else and you can’t stop thinking about them, you don’t want to date or hook up with any other person. If they talk about something that does not interest you then you still listen anyway, you remember when you first met and every moment you spent with that person after that. Its memories like this that makes you happy that they are in your life. There comes a time when you feel that day is the last day you will ever see them. So you enjoy every moment you spend or talk to them because you never know when they are just going to disappear.
You reach to the point of where you feel unwanted from that person and leave for months. Then finally reconnect and have him say he missed you while you were gone it makes you feel like a whole other person. You feel warm and good around them. You’re not afraid to look like a dork and show your true colors around them because they will seem to like you no matter what. At times you feel ashamed for leaving but good for coming back and having them take you back. You wonder what they have been doing and if they have changed at all when you have been gone. When you kiss or hold their hand, you feel like the world stops and you save the moment.
You look at their physical features hands, lips, hair, height, and eyes. Then focus on personality how they think of the world, present themselves, how they care, what makes them laugh or cry, the way they smile, honesty, loyal and trust. You come to realize that they have never left. They have always been there. Everything you once enjoyed about them is still there but even stronger now. You develop feelings for them again and realize you don’t want to be with anyone else, have sexual feelings toward other people or even think about other people.
Feeling their hands makes you feel safe and warm, putting your head on their heart makes you appreciate how their heart beats, laying next to them makes you feel whole. The way they touch and look at you makes you have a thousand butterflies in your stomach. Every time you hear their name, see them or think of them makes you smile and giggle. Hearing that they have had a bad day, are involved in family issues, trials with friends, or finding out they are physically or emotionally hurt makes you hurt too. Deep inside you cry and weep for them but at the end of the day life still goes on. You realize that what they are going through does not involve you but yet you want it too. You want to take away their pain because it does not belong to them. You would rather suffer than have him suffer.
Visiting their house makes you feel like you want to take care of them. You are willing to do certain things to make their lives easier. Doing their laundry, helping them clean their room to making their bed. Eventually you wanna take it a step further. Purchasing work clothes for them or purchasing things for them in general that they have no time to do. You don’t care that your spending money on them, you just want them to be happy and that is all you care about. Worrying about yourself makes you selfish. Putting them first makes you feel like a better person, even if they don’t do the same for you.
Many people think that in order to like someone truthfully you don’t include their family. I find that an understatement, their family makes them of who they are. They even get the same looks from their family so family has a huge part in liking a person. Family members tend to bring out the true colors of a person. You never truly know about their personality unless you see him and his brother compete in something. When their brothers make you laugh and you get a hoot from being around them, that is saying something. Hanging out with the family also makes you develop memories that make you laugh or smile. Every time you walk through their house you smile at their family and enjoy them just as much as you enjoy that one person you like. Parents and siblings always have a final say on who a person should date and even hang out. Sometimes you are so blind you need someone you love to tell you who is fake and who is real.
Who a person hangs out with also determines what type of person they are. You pick your friends based on the similar values you have and how you get along. You know that the person you like always talks to his best friend. When you talk to that best friend it can be a cool conversation or a bad one. Making sure you don’t say too much or too little. They talk and share information and ideas about you. When they realize that you like their best friend they become somewhat territorial. They are happy and don’t want to get between it but they are also looking after the person you like. You should even find it flattering if the best friend hits on you and says they want to get with you. But then again, you feel bad when you have to reject them. You’re falling for the guy you like, not them. It would be unethical to get with the best friend that would be like getting with one of his brothers. Your best friend is family; you wouldn’t want to have sexual activity with other family members.
Picture this; you go home every night realizing this person is not with you. Then you start to think, this person of whom I like only talks to me or hangs out with me when he feels like it. What does this mean? He won’t communicate with you because he is working. He claims to be a huge communicator but he won’t even discuss it after he is working. Are you just a booty call for when he is lonely? Does he like you and hiding it? Is he secretly using you and you don’t know it? Or maybe he is slowly leaving you. He may leave then come back and not realize how much you are hurt. He may care and he may not. You think you know the person well enough to know that they will not leave or hurt you but sometimes you can be surprised. The question is what now? You wait. That is what you do, you wait. The mindset is that if you wait long enough and he knows that you’re waiting then maybe eventually he will come to you. If you want to be with this person what is the point of getting with other people? If you wait all your life and he never comes to you then you have your memories with that person. You learn from them and smile. At the end of the day you are hurt but he is happy and that is all that matters.
It is not the sexual activity that makes you feel good, it is the person you’re doing it with. What if one of you is not on the same page or don’t like the sexual activities given to you? Deep down inside you know the other person is honestly trying. Do you give up on them or keep trying until something magical happens? If you try hard and keep trying sometimes what you’re doing gets to where it needs to be. It may take longer but it was worth the waiting and the pain. If sexual activity is harder for the person they will not care about the pain or what activity they are doing. They will try their hardest and do it for you because they like you that much. Sexual activities are not everything; you need to develop a relationship with that person. Whether there is a “friend” relationship or an “item” relationship. There needs to be a strong fundamental relationship there.
The way you feel about this person make you like them. But this is a much broader picture than your standard “I like you” kindergarten method. Would you call this love? One person told me that if you truly love the person, you won’t care about the risks. You won’t care about the risks about sex, getting hurt, finding love, and eventually being with that person. It just happens; you can’t control it or put a guard up. If you have a guard, it all drifts away and you will never get it back. When it comes to sexual activity it’s an important factor in liking someone. It’s a connection you feel with the person and you love doing it with that person. Would you call this love? I have never experienced it, I do not believe in it. If love is being verbally, emotionally and physically abused I have experienced it. For some reason I do not believe that is what love is. My parents don’t treat each other that way; they would take a bullet for each other. I would take a bullet for him, but he doesn't love me back. What am I feeling? Is this love?
*reading this makes me cry every time, it means the most.*
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